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One Touch Transformation 2019

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If Only I had Remained Silent....AMWT 2.4

September 1, 2016

 

 

If Only I had Remained Silent….

 

If only I had remained silent, I wouldn’t be in this position that I am in today. All I had to do was keep my mouth closed, and not say anything that had ever happened to me. If only I had remained silent, I could’ve let that dark secret continue to tear me down, day after day. If only I had remained silent, I could’ve continued to pop those pills, remain suicidal, and maybe I would’ve finally drove myself off the road. If only I would’ve remained silent, I could’ve continued leading worship service with a mask. No one would’ve ever known because I had mastered hiding the real me. If only I had remained silent, I could’ve stayed bound, hidden and secretive. I could have continued to solve my problems with sex. All it took was pleasing a man to numb the feeling, but no I just couldn’t keep my mouth closed. (Sorry that made me chuckle a little.) Okay, bring your mind back. If only I had remained silent, I could have destroyed the rest of my life and just died a lonely, cold-hearted, bitter and sick woman.

 

But no, I just had to find a trusting friend to talk to. I just had to become vulnerable and open every wound and reveal every scar. I just had to dig into my past and relive it time after time in order to get through every layer of my pain. I just had to gather my family together that night, and share my story of how I was molested at the age of six! I just had to attend counseling and therapy to start my healing journey.

 

If only I had remained silent, I would’ve never known I wasn’t alone. If only I had remained silent, I would’ve never met other beautiful and strong survivors. I would’ve never visited my local rape crisis center and formed new relationships. If only I had remained silent, I would have never had the courage to start One Touch Transformation. I would have never cohosted RAINN DAY at Francis Marion University. If only I had remained silent, I would’ve never had the chance to share my story with others and have other survivors approach me saying, “It happened to me.” If only I had remained silent, I would’ve never begun an 8 Step Transformation Program. There would be no Butterfly Effect Mentoring Program.  If only I had remained silent, I would have never had the courage and the faith to quit my job.

 

If only I had remained silent, I would have never found my purpose.

 

If only I had remained silent.

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