If you had to evaluate your life, which would weigh more, faith or fear? Well, let me tell you which one has been weighing more in my life……FEAR! I’m not ashamed to say that fear has been taking over lately. Someone may ask me, “Are you a true Christian?” Yes. “Do you have faith?” Of course I do. I have faith, but it has been wavering. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my goals and my visions, and every time I think about them, that doubt or that fear creeps in. I’m battling fear because of my “light” faith right now.
I’ve prayed to God that I want to do OTT full time. I’m passionate about it, but I only think I can do it as long as I have the means coming in before I make that decision. I only want to take the step as long as it’s easy and convenient. I dare not take the step not knowing what will happen next. I’m reminded of what a longtime friend of mine said. He told me “Faith and common sense doesn’t work together.” I keep thinking about those words. It sounds crazy to walk away from making something to making nothing, while doing something from nothing (did I lose you?) Let me break it down……
The average person would call me crazy if I walked away from my job, which has a low salary, to no salary, while fulfilling my purpose and doing what I’m passionate about, with NO MONEY.
Okay, so I’ve been having these conversations with God, and I admitted to HIM that I’m scared, but HE asked me what sense does it make to trust more in man than HIM? I have faith in my parents more than anyone else. Do my parents wake me up every morning? NO. Do they heal my body? No. Do they give me the strength, peace and joy? Only to a certain extent. So how is it, that I can have more faith in my parents than GOD? That’s not right. GOD convicted me and let me know that HE’s not pleased with my faith. I have to change my mindset…..to NOW FAITH.
“Now faith is the substance the things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
GOD has been with me my entire life. I’ve known HIM from a child, so why would I even think that HE would let me fall now?
“…lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.” Matthew 28:20
“…for HE hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5
So as I continued my conversation with GOD, HE let me know that it’s time to start exercising. It’s time to get rid of the weight of this fear. No longer can I allow my fear to outweigh my faith. If you’re in the same boat as me, it’s time to get out and let’s take that step on the water; until then, I feel like GOD won’t be pleased.
“But without faith it’s impossible to please Him; for he that cometh to GOD must believe that He is, and that HE is a rewarder to them that diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6