So today’s entry may be a little emotional.
I had a rough night last night. While falling asleep, I began thinking about some of the things that I have endured over the years, and I wanted to cry to myself to sleep. I couldn’t exactly cry though because it was so much that was going through my head. I was thinking about where I could’ve been and where I am today. My life could’ve been completely shattered and could’ve gone in a completely opposite direction that where it is today. I have my guardian angel to thank for rescuing me out of those dark places.
A lot of women never make it out of those dark places, but we just don’t know how and even think there is no way out. I thought there was no way out. It’s scary when you’re in a dark place alone. No one to rescue you, and think you think GOD has forgotten all about you. I was there. I questioned GOD so much, asked HIM why was he allowing me to go through so much? I never thought it was fair and just hated myself for every move I made.
At the same time while I was going through, I was still leading worship…freeing other but not being able to free myself. That was one of the roughest period s of my life. All I can say, “If it had not been for the Lord on my side, tell me where would I be, where would I be.” Truly I don’t know where I would be.
To all of my fellow survivors, keep moving, and keep progressing. Don’t let your scars keep you from excelling. They are what make us stronger. It’s okay to have that bad day or bad night. When you begin to think about those bad moments, thank GOD for where you are now. Surely I do!