A Letter to my Rapist...AMWT 23

Dear Uncle Troy, I bet you’re surprised to hear from me, but there are some things I just have to let you know. For starters, I want you to know how much pain you caused me and how much pain you caused my family. Do you know what I’m talking about? Do you have any idea what you did to me? If not, let me remind you. Well, 23 years ago, you took something very precious without my control. I didn’t have a say so at all! You just snatched it away like a bully snatching candy from a scared little kid. I remember what you smelled like, and I’ll forever remember that smell, thanks a lot! I have a question….what made you choose me? I was only six years old. As I got a little older, you still would t

The fight continues, even after the battle...AMWT 22

"I even remember thinking-- I would rather deal with being abused all over as a child than to deal with the effects of it." There have been times when I’ve focused more on the battle more than my recovery. So, which one needs more attention? Well, I have come to realize that the recovery process needs more attention. I’m not saying the battle is no longer important, but I am saying after the battle has been won, it’s time to move on and recover. So what was your biggest battle? Well, those of you who know my story know that my biggest battle was enduring sexual abuse. I was in that battle as a child and even as an adult. I survived it all, so I feel like I won the battle. I used to hear the

As I continue to progress I still cry...AMWT 21

As I continue to progress I still cry. A few weeks back, I wrote about how I feel when I’m knocked back a couple of steps as I continue to move on in this journey. Well, I had one of those nights again. Well, let me back up. The night before, which would’ve been Tuesday night, I woke up screaming at 3:00 in the morning. No one was grabbing me or touching me, but all I could hear was voices. It scared me to hear voices in my head; it seemed as if they were coming from every direction. I sat up for a while and looked around and finally went back to sleep. So last night as I was showering, I was praying and crying. I was begging GOD to not let me go backwards and not to let my mind be overtaken

GOD made it comfortable for me...AMWT.20

GOD made it comfortable for me…… Last night, was the first time I felt at ease while sharing my story of being molested. First, I was thrilled that I was even invited to speak on abuse for FMU’s Kappa Deltas’ Shamrock Week. They may not have been able to tell, but it was a huge deal for me. Anytime I’m granted the opportunity to share my story, I have to mentally prepare myself. I prepare as if I’m telling the story to a full auditorium. I decided to let Cortne (my guitar) tag along and help me share my story. Part one of my presentation included interaction from the crowd. There were 19 facts that I discussed. I had 19 participants to stand and read aloud the fact that was distributed. Ther

AMWT.19

YOU ARE YOUR BIGGEST CHEERLEADER!!! Have you ever heard a preacher say, “Sometimes you have to be like David, and encourage yourself?” Well that’s true. I take it as this: YOU ARE YOUR BIGGEST CHEERLEADER! Since day one, I have been my biggest cheerleader. No one knows your vision better than you (other than GOD of course). You are the only one knows your goals and what you want to accomplish like the back of your hand. You cannot depend on anyone else to work as hard as you when it comes to your vision. From the moment I started OTT, I knew it was going to be hard work. I knew what this vision meant to me and what it was going to take—believing in myself. I knew this starting off, but I did

AMWT.18

I have suffered enough, I will suffer no more! There are some things in life that cause us to suffer. There are some things that we may do that may cause suffering. Either way, no one enjoys it. When some of our selfish decisions cause us to suffer, then we can pretty much accept the fact that we have to deal with the consequences. It is when we have no control whatsoever over the things that cause us to suffer. Let me break it down a bit more. -Being molested was definitely not a decision I made. -Being molested was nothing I asked for. -Being molested wasn’t my fault. -My rapist made the decision to rape me -My rapist took my body under his control. -My rapist is to blame. As a child, mol

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One Touch Transformation 2020